I wonder if, as a man, I struggled with our new childless reality through the lack of physical experiences – no sensations in the tummy, no overwhelming tiredness, and later, no pain. Just a notion, an idea.
These brave words were written anonymously and I’m glad they were written, as I have spoken with many men over the years who have suffered tremendously in the wake of a miscarriage. It may not be their partner’s loss too, but their daughters’, friend or sister’s. The taboo of miscarriage still exists, although its grip has lessened a little over the years, partly because of many efforts to speak up about it and challenge the way of things. However men can suffer too, and suffer the collision with another taboo – that men ‘don’t cry’ or can’t be vulnerable in the same way as women can.
The Miscarriage Association have addressed this recently with their Partners Too campaign, well worth a read by anyone. The chances are that you will meet someone affected by miscarriage.